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Ngầu pín,lẩu, bò bía

Buổi tối đang đau đầu vì những Độ mở kinh tế, Đo lường mức độ thương mại trong quyển Một trăm câu hỏi-đáp về Ngoại thương TP HCM thì Trần Hữu Quang bên Viện Khoa học xã hội  phone qua hỏi Ngầu pín là gì ?

Thật là điên ruột khi biết y đang nhậu với một đám, nhậu ngầu pín, rồi no pín rửng chữ, rồi thảo luận xem ngầu pín là gì, rồi không có trọng tài bèn cử y phone qua hỏi, còn nói nhã là tra từ điển hộ. Trời ạ, bản nhân đang cày lòi cả thủy tinh thể, các người thì rảnh rỗi đàn đúm ăn nhậu hưởng lạc phi vô sản, mà chỉ nghĩ tới bản nhân như một thứ từ điển sống thế này thôi à ! Thật là tình đời đen bạc. Nhưng đúng là từ này bản nhân chưa có dịp tra, thôi thì một công đôi việc. Cúp máy đi tao gọi lại. Ừ mau lên nhé. Y mà ở đây thì chắc được ăn từ điển chứ không phải nhậu ngầu pín đâu.


Ra rồi nghe đây. Ngầu là ngưu, tức con bò (thủy ngưu mới là con trâu), pín là âm Hoa Hán giọng Quảng Đông, giọng Quan thoại cũng thế vì đây thuộc mảng từ vựng cơ bản, âm Việt Hán là tiện, làm động từ là lái ể nhưng đây là danh từ, chắc là một biệt danh kiểu tiếng lóng để chỉ công cụ tác nghiệp trong đó có li lái của con đực. Ngầu là ngưu thì phải rồi, nhưng mày có chắc pín là tiện không. Phụ âm đầu t thời Đường chuyển thành phụ âm đầu p và b thời Minh Thanh rất nhiều, như tỳ bà thành pípá, tân khách thành bìnkè, có thể nói là một quy luật ngữ âm, về cả ý nghĩa lẫn âm thanh thì chữ tiện đều hợp lý, còn đúng hay không để tao hỏi lại mấy cô bạn người Tàu. OK cảm ơn tiên sinh nhiều nhiều, chào nhé. Quả thật bọn người nhậu ngầu pín này rất có tác phong cắc bụp mau lẹ trong các hoạt động giao lưu.

Bực mình xong lại buồn cười, may là tôi tra ra, không thì nếu chẳng may họ pín vào lời ra suy diễn tào lao lại gây nhiễu kiến thức ngôn ngữ của người thiên hạ. Còn nhớ có một đại nhân vật lên cả tivi giải thích thổ là đất, mộ là nấm mộ, xe thổ mộ tức cái xe như nấm mộ lùm lùm chạy trên đường. Nguyễn Văn Huệ bên Đại học Tổng hợp thành phố thấy vô lý bèn chửi đổng “ Mả cha mày chạy chứ mả ai chạy ! ”. Thứ từ nguyên học dân gian ấy dùng để tào lao thì được còn nếu tưởng là học vấn thì chỉ làm em cháu ngu đi. Thổ mộ là cách đọc Việt hóa của từ  t’ủ mỏ, tức độc mã (một ngựa) đọc theo âm Hoa Hán giọng Quảng Đông. Xe thổ mộ tức xe (một) ngựa.


Thêm một ví dụ về sự suy diễn tào lao. Cái áo trường sam (áo vạt dài, tức áo dài) của người Hoa đọc theo âm Hoa Hán giọng Quảng Đông là sường sám, các tiệm may hiện nay không hiểu bèn cải biên thành sườn xám, có lẽ định gán cho nó một ý nghĩa (cái sườn màu xám?) trong tiếng Việt, cũng chẳng chết ai nhưng dễ dãi với ngôn ngữ sẽ dẫn tới đại khái về tư duy rồi vô nguyên tắc trong hành vi.

Nói thế không phải quá lời đâu, vì ngôn ngữ là công cụ giao tiếp, nếu dễ dãi về ngôn ngữ rất dễ phạm lỗi dù là vô tình trong ứng xử. Sự đại khái về tư duy ngôn ngữ vì thế có hại hơn nhiều người tưởng. Ngày xưa người ta viết bằng bút lông, để ngòi bút khô lâu sẽ giòn gãy rụng lông (Trúc se ngọn thỏ trong Truyện Kiều là chỉ chuyện này) nên thỉnh thoảng phải nhúng nước. Vì thế các báo chí, nhà xuất bản ở Trung Quốc trả tiền thù lao cho tác giả đều gọi nhã là tiền nhuận bút (thấm ướt ngòi bút). Về sau viết bài bằng bút sắt rồi bút bi, máy đánh chữ và thậm chí hiện nay viết trên máy tính cũng được gọi là trả tiền nhuận bút, thôi thì cũng được đi, có điều vụ tiền nhuận ảnh (đăng báo) mới là đại kỳ quái, thậm phi lý, không lẽ là làm ướt máy ảnh ! Tương tự, nhiều vị thuộc chính giới và báo giới hiện nay gọi Hùng Vương là Quốc tổ, nhưng lại gọi Âu Cơ mẹ Hùng Vương đầu tiên là Quốc mẫu. Mẹ lại sinh ra được ông nội à ?


Tháng 6. 1975 tôi từ Hà Nội về tới Sài Gòn, đổi được ít tiền miền Nam bèn đi chơi, thấy xe bò bía bèn sấn vào gọi mấy cuốn. Thấy chỉ có lạp xưởng, tép khô với rau, liền hỏi sao không có thịt bò, cô nhỏ bán hàng thấy tôi mặc áo bộ đội liền cười nói cái này đâu có bò chú. Tôi hỏi không có bò sao gọi là bò bía, cô ta đáp người ta kêu sao con kêu vậy chứ con biết gì đâu. Hơn mười năm sau gặp anh Tăng Văn Hỷ tác giả nhiều quyển từ điển Hán Việt sực nghĩ ra, hỏi anh người bang nào, anh đáp là Triều Châu, tôi hỏi hai chữ bò bía không phải giọng Quảng Đông, có phải giọng Triều Châu không.

Anh cười nói chú hỏi đúng người rồi, chú biết chữ Hán nên tôi không cần nói nhiều, rồi viết ra hai chữ Hán bạc bính. Té ra nó là bánh mỏng (bánh tráng), đọc theo âm Hoa Hán giọng Triều Châu, sau khi từ pò pía chuyển thành bò bía cho phù hợp với ngữ âm và từ vựng tiếng Việt thì được dùng để đại diện cho cái món bánh tráng cuốn lạp xưởng tép khô với rau. Một loại bánh ngọt có nhân đậu xanh, sầu riêng, dừa vân vân ở Sóc Trăng được gọi là bánh bía cũng là theo nguyên tắc đại diện này, tức bía đã trở thành danh từ riêng, chứ pía vốn là bánh nói chung.

Chuyện đại diện về từ vựng - ngôn ngữ này còn lồng vào nhiều chuyện khác về văn hóa và giao lưu văn hóa. Một lần tôi đi dự hội nghị chữ Nôm quốc tế ở Siam Riep, trong bữa ăn gặp mặt đầu tiên ở một nhà hàng tự chọn, thấy menu có món soup de Vietnam, nhìn cái hình thì là món lẩu. Anh Nguyễn Văn Lịch bên Đại học Tổng hợp thành phố nói với đám khách hội nghị người nước ngoài đó vốn là món lẩu của Tàu. Họ hỏi riết tới, tôi phải giải thích (anh Lịch dịch) rằng lẩu là âm Hoa Hán giọng Quảng Đông, âm Việt Hán là lô tức cái bếp lò, đây chỉ một loại nồi đặc biệt gắn liền với lò, rất tiết kiệm năng lượng mà người Việt ngày trước gọi là cái cù lao. Vật dùng này vốn của người Mông Cổ trước cả thời Thành Cát Tư hãn, quân kỵ Mông Cổ hành quân thường mỗi người hai ngựa, một con chở người, một con chở lương thực và trang bị khác, trong đó có một cái túi đựng phân ngựa. Ngựa ăn cỏ nên phân nhiều xenluylô, phơi khô cháy rất đượm, họ dùng phân ấy làm chất đốt kết hợp với cái lò tiết kiệm năng lượng kia nên khi hành quân vẫn được ăn nóng, giữ được sức chiến đấu.


Sau khi nhà Nguyên chiếm Trung Quốc, loại nồi gắn lò (hay lò gắn nồi) này truyền tới Giang Nam rất được giới thương nhân ngư dân và cả bọn thủy khấu hải tặc đi sông đi biển hoan nghênh vì tiện dùng ở những nơi gió lớn, từ đó nó có tên Tàu. Đến khi nhà Thanh chiếm Trung Quốc, nó lại theo thuyền các di thần phản Thanh phục Minh Hoa Nam trôi qua Việt Nam mà đặc biệt là Đàng Trong. Trên nguyên tắc nó là cái lò nhưng được dùng để gọi chung các món canh nhiều mỡ cần ăn nóng, Việt Nam vẫn gọi theo tên Tàu là lẩu, bây giờ theo chân người Việt lên biên giới Campuchia - Thái Lan lại có hộ chiếu mang tên lai Pháp. Nhưng gọi là soup de Vietnam cũng đáng, vì nó đã được Việt hóa trăm phần trăm, chẳng hạn nhà hàng ấy có cả lẩu mắm, gần giống lẩu mắm ở vùng Đồng Tháp Mười, rất nhiều loại rau dại, có điều tôm cá toàn là thứ đông lạnh.

Tào lao thêm một chút. Tại nhà hàng ấy, tôi còn đọc thấy trong menu món beef luk lak, ngẩn ra xong thì phì cười, vì nó là một cách dịch ra tiếng Pháp (hay Anh) rất sáng tạo mà trung thành về âm điệu từ bò lúc lắc ở Việt Nam. May mà anh Lịch không nói tới món ấy, chứ mấy người nước ngoài kia mà truy nguyên luk lak là gì, chắc tôi cũng chỉ đành cười gượng lak đầu mà nói know die immediate.

Cao Tự Thanh (7. 2007)
(theo báo Diễn Đàn)

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